One of the favorite pieces of advice we tend to give young Christians who have reached the point of dating or to those about to get married or looking forward to marriage in the future is found in Paul’s second epistle to the Corinthians: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
It’s interesting that the Bible uses the term “yoke.” Animals can be physically yoked together with the intent that they will work together as a team, thereby greatly enhancing productivity. Similarly, it’s not unusual for two individuals to become so-called best friends, and most of the time when you see one you see the other. In this case, the two have socially yoked themselves together.
The point is that the yoke referred to in the verse above is not limited to marriage; on the other hand, marriage is the strongest kind of yoke that can exists between two persons because God said that when a man leaves his parents and marries a woman the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
Also, note the reason why this verse says believers should not yoke themselves with unbelievers. It is not to suggest that believers are any better than unbelievers because that’s not true. The problem has to do with compatibility--or the lack thereof: true believers pursue righteousness as defined by the Scriptures, unbelievers do not; true believers strive to walk in the light, unbelievers tend to walk in darkness. It is vitally important that I add that this verse does not say Christians should shun unbelievers; rather, the former should not yoke themselves with the latter.
Now brace yourself for what I am about to say because it is the main point of this post: Just because two persons are Christians does not mean they are a good match for each other in marriage. Am I saying that if two persons are genuine Christians they may still not be a good match? That’s exactly what I am saying. Believe me, you can be a Christian and still be screwed up in the way you think about life and marriage.
The point is that compatibility must not be limited to spiritual compatibility. For instance, if one person grew up in the country and the other in the big city and their resulting differences keep raising their ugly heads during dating, this is not to be ignored. Also, individual attitudes toward money management can be radically different. One mate may be responsible with budgeting and spending while the other mate just lives for the moment. It’s hard to get ahead that way, and eventually this can become a serious problem. More times than one, I have even seen serious problems result because one mate is very passionate for God and spiritual growth while the other person is spiritually slack.
I am only scratching the surface here but I think you get my drift. Sometimes these issues can be worked out so that the marriage at least survives and sometimes they can’t. The point is that just because two persons love each other and they are Christians does not assure a successful Christian marriage. Actually, true Christians divorce every day. But the broader the base of compatibility that exists between two persons, the better their chances are for success AND happiness in marriage.
Copyright © 2012 by Frank King. All rights reserved.
It’s interesting that the Bible uses the term “yoke.” Animals can be physically yoked together with the intent that they will work together as a team, thereby greatly enhancing productivity. Similarly, it’s not unusual for two individuals to become so-called best friends, and most of the time when you see one you see the other. In this case, the two have socially yoked themselves together.
The point is that the yoke referred to in the verse above is not limited to marriage; on the other hand, marriage is the strongest kind of yoke that can exists between two persons because God said that when a man leaves his parents and marries a woman the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
Also, note the reason why this verse says believers should not yoke themselves with unbelievers. It is not to suggest that believers are any better than unbelievers because that’s not true. The problem has to do with compatibility--or the lack thereof: true believers pursue righteousness as defined by the Scriptures, unbelievers do not; true believers strive to walk in the light, unbelievers tend to walk in darkness. It is vitally important that I add that this verse does not say Christians should shun unbelievers; rather, the former should not yoke themselves with the latter.
Now brace yourself for what I am about to say because it is the main point of this post: Just because two persons are Christians does not mean they are a good match for each other in marriage. Am I saying that if two persons are genuine Christians they may still not be a good match? That’s exactly what I am saying. Believe me, you can be a Christian and still be screwed up in the way you think about life and marriage.
The point is that compatibility must not be limited to spiritual compatibility. For instance, if one person grew up in the country and the other in the big city and their resulting differences keep raising their ugly heads during dating, this is not to be ignored. Also, individual attitudes toward money management can be radically different. One mate may be responsible with budgeting and spending while the other mate just lives for the moment. It’s hard to get ahead that way, and eventually this can become a serious problem. More times than one, I have even seen serious problems result because one mate is very passionate for God and spiritual growth while the other person is spiritually slack.
I am only scratching the surface here but I think you get my drift. Sometimes these issues can be worked out so that the marriage at least survives and sometimes they can’t. The point is that just because two persons love each other and they are Christians does not assure a successful Christian marriage. Actually, true Christians divorce every day. But the broader the base of compatibility that exists between two persons, the better their chances are for success AND happiness in marriage.
Copyright © 2012 by Frank King. All rights reserved.
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